Those Imaginary symptoms of COVID-19

Last Updated on January 16, 2024 by Roslin Dwivedi

The reason I put my feeling in the limelight.

It’s been four months since I first heard about Coronavirus and COVID-19 on the news from all over the world. It’s been 27 days for me living under lockdown and preventive isolation. I decided to write about the impact of fear of coronavirus on our life, after reading a post in one of my Facebook groups, a woman facing the same situation and doubt as me under coronavirus and self-isolation. I know many are facing similar situations in their so-called healthy life. Those Imaginary symptoms of COVID-19.

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It’s very deadly, and it’s very harmful, and it’s scary as hell!!

The situations are terrifying if we don’t understand how to prevent it. This happened so suddenly, changing our lives, lifestyle, disinfect the house, stay in isolation, stay home (yes #stay home).

We all are panicking, deep down all of us are scared to death. We are afraid to get infected and to infect our loved ones. All this reminds me of my most-watched show – Fear The Walking Dead, and now I am saying Fear The Coronavirus. 😀

Jokes apart, no matter how much someone tries to help you, they can’t help if you don’t help yourself. 

Yes, I lived under the fear and anxiety of Coronavirus or COVID-19. I was so afraid that the disease might take us all. I feared for my baby, my husband and my family back at home. Every day I prayed to God to keep everyone safe.

How it grow inside the mind

The seriousness of this didn’t dawn on me entirely until one day it reached my home. The country we are living in. We heard about two positive cases, and all of a sudden, there was panic, schools closed, and self-isolation implemented. A few days later, the health ministry confirmed two more positive cases. And one day my husband had to stay back at his office because officials wanted to test all the employees working there. And there was a chance that he might not return home because of possible quarantine mandated by the government. There, again the fear started taking over my mental health; the scare grew slowly, making me weak and feeling this disease. 

Day and night listening to the news, the latest updates did nothing right. It crawled into my brain and started signalling my body that I am sick. Yes, it was like “Let’s get sick because everyone is becoming ill.” And feel those Imaginary symptoms of COVID-19.

The rise of imaginary symptoms

It made me feel and believe all the symptoms it shows in humans, was in me. All of a sudden, I felt my throat swollen, and I couldn’t breathe. I could hear my heartbeat. The palpitations gave me another fear of throat discomfort. I wanted to be free of this dreadful feeling and sleepless nights. Every night I felt I couldn’t breathe, what if when sleeping, I died from breathlessness, what will happen to my 20 months old baby? My husband was still in his office in quarantine that night. I must not sleep and stay alive until he comes back. We all think we are strong, and probably we are, but sometimes the situation takes over you. And In my opinion it’s okay to be scared, and we are all human. We can have such feelings.

Calmed my self down, but somehow the tension was so much that couldn’t happen. 

I am sure by now you might think I was being dramatic, but a person who is truly scared out of her wits is completely capable of visualising all types of drastic predicaments. I wanted to cry so bad, but I had to keep my cool for the kids—Neighbour’s kid, whose parents also stuck at work with my husband. Made myself breathe, to keep my sanity, with all the changes happening. 

My husband tried his best to convince me that I wasn’t sick, he put in so much effort trying to drag me out of my doldrums and even if somewhere deep down I knew he was right, I continued to grumble about my pain and suffering from those Imaginary symptoms of COVID-19.

Let me tell you a story –

The event that unfold those imaginary symptoms of COVID-19

As I continued to indulge my symptoms incessantly, A made me consult his friend N, who is a nurse.

Little did I anticipate the fiasco that this would set in motion.

I laid down on my bed and made a call to her, feeling very sick and weak. But the way she counselled me, I felt supercharged and started disinfecting my house, did my laundry, made my bed, washed all the dirty utensils and didn’t feel a thing for a day. 

However, that did not last as long as I ended up watching Covid-19 infected patients’ videos, which made me feel ill all over again. And this time, the nurse asked me to consult a doctor. I booked a taxi and by mistake went to the clinic that had a similar name to the one N suggested. 

As the clinic’s nurse was taking my blood for testing, the doctor freaks out because I am from an area where positive cases found. She started yelling at the nurse to close the clinic. The nurse, in turn, loses it with the doctor because of her behaviour and quits her job on the spot. By this time, I had already started feeling terrible. 

The dilemma of decision making

And as I stood there listening to both of them, I thought should I leave? Should I take the bottle of my blood sample? And at that moment the fight got louder, so I simply fled away like a thief, nice and quiet. 

After confirming the name, I then went to the right clinic. I sat down on an iron bench to wait my turn. Suddenly I got a call from the health department, and I was on the receiving end of a severe scolding, even though in reality, I had no symptoms matching the disease. They treated me as if I am a bag full of coronavirus, roaming freely all around the isle, spreading it to everyone.

With everyone so panicked and scared, I thought that they would put me in quarantine away from my son and husband. And probably tomorrow’s newspaper will feature my image with the headline screaming – “Look at this foolhardy and her accomplishment!”. 

Terrified of this becoming a reality, I fled that place too. While running away, I saw one of the clothing Brands had a 30% “sale sale sale” written on the door. Poor me, I thought, I should have gone to the sale for shopping rather than the clinic! 

The realisation moment

Reaching home, I felt so relieved, happy and satisfied to see my family. I hugged my husband and son tightly, cried a little and then realised I felt zero sicknesses and throat discomfort all this while. Since then till now, I haven’t felt those imaginary symptoms of COVID-19, which was my mind, anxiety and fears playing a trick on me. This little event made me realise my husband was right, and I was wrong (only about this situation, usually it’s me who is always correct 😉).

We all are experiencing something like this for the first time. So, we may not be entirely sure if we are suffering from the actual disease or it’s just in our minds. You may take some time but try to understand the impact of the fear of Coronavirus on our lives and our mental health. 

My advice to you –

1. You shouldn’t watch or talk about such disturbing things for a few days. 
2. Stay in self-isolation, keep indoors and safe, and do your work. Appreciate the extra quality time with your kids and partner. You can play with your kids, cook a special meal, catch up on your favourite series on Netflix or Amazon. 
3. Be positive in your thoughts. Imagine, if a fortune teller predicts your death in another three days, you might just die today itself merely by thinking about it. Overthinking will paralyse you. Maybe you are not going to die, and perhaps the fortune teller was bluffing. Your fear and negativity will kill you. This is because your mind signalled your body and your body had to stop living because of the extreme pressure of belief that you won’t survive. I read about this situation in the book ‘The Secret’. The book demonstrates how negative thoughts can attract negative scenarios in our lives. We are truly what we think. So, let’s be careful about what we allow into our mind space. It is in our power to control our fears. Trust me; we can fight those imaginary symptoms of COVID-19.

Meanwhile, I learnt this virus is here to teach us many things, I saw on the news, memes and YouTube videos, how animals are coming out of their hideouts and enjoying the freeness, running around the seashore, walking on the roads, and swimming in the water bodies clear from boats and ships. This earth benefited from our absence, and we need to think about keeping ourselves in control to let these creatures enjoy the planet as much as we do. Also, it’s teaching us to value every small thing we have, respect all those people who are helping us in our daily life and the fact that we can survive without many luxury things. Basically, it made us realise Sab Moh Maya hai (it means “all things in the world are not real”) 

Don’t avoid the news related to COVID-19 entirely but limit the amount of time you give to these things. 

My strategy to overcome the fear –

1. Change the channel – as soon as I finish seeing the highlights of the pandemic, I switch to Netflix and watch the series ‘Friends’. This series never disappoints. 

2. Yoga for Soul – I had started exercising, but since Aanick is not going to the daycare after the lockdown, my workout sessions have come back to zero. So, I have now started an early morning walk combined with yoga. It gives me a refreshing start to the day. My mind is free from all the bad news, scary videos and the fear of getting it and going away from my family. I appreciate people who had made videos when they were on the ventilator in the hospital to spread awareness and seriousness of this disease, but if you are getting affected by this, then don’t watch them. My mistake: I saw a few of those, and then I felt the same inside me, which was not real at all. But everything was in my mind. 

3. Gardening – I love gardening, planting a seed and watch it grow to become beautifully fruitful or flowery makes me feel good. I engrossed in trimming, cutting old leaves and cleaning the pot to develop a new plant is my one of the ways to meditate. 

4. Nobody died from taking precautions – the fear made me feel my throat was dried up, and I thought I felt pain inside. As a precaution, I drank a lot of warm water, gargle with saline solution every night and day, added vitamins pills to my diet, and ate food with lots of vegetables.

5. Cleanliness – being in a house with a baby, I did keep my house clean. But this virus made me clean all those places in my house where no one touches, not even lizards and insects. You know what I mean we all have such hidden places at home. 

All is well

Thanks for reading my blog those Imaginary symptoms of COVID-19, and you should also read many other articles related to this one to help you fight anxiety and fear. There are ads and speeches full of advice to not panic. But let’s face it, we panic when we are scared, and no matter how much anyone is trying to ease our fears, it doesn’t help until we help ourselves. Acceptance is everything. Yes, an average smiling person can suffer anxiety and fear. We just need to follow the instructions, take precautions and everything will be fine. Tell yourself to calm down or tell your mind not to feel the fear, don’t wait to experience a comical but scary fiasco like mine. Tell your brain that it’s okay or just watch 3 Idiots and say – All is well 👍🏻.

Stay safe and stay free of any virus!!